The Pregnant Heart gets, what the Pregnant Heart wants

I’ve been starving all day – just feel like eating constantly. Not artificial eating though, I’m talking full meal eating. Needless to say, we don’t leave a lot of full meals laying around this house. Adam’s a big advocate of saving leftovers, so there were some in the fridge. I worked from home today to get a bunch of things done for some big meetings the next two days. One of my fridge foraging excursions led me into a tupperware of Hashbrown/eggs/bacon left over from maybe a week ago and another tupperware of corned beef and rice, from last night. Well, throwing them together didn’t sound like a terrible idea, so that’s exactly what happened. What was I going to do to add a little freshness to the dish? Why, throw another egg in of course. It turned out amazing! I haven’t really had any weird 3AM food cravings or anything crazy like that. Throughout I’ve gone through phases of Coconut cupcake, Egg McMuffin’s, Cereal (I’m talking good cereal, like the kind coated in sugar, like Captain Crunch and Lucky Charms), and Caramello’s. Right now, I am currently specific crave-less.

I have a really sick love of eggs. I’ll eat them with everything. Egg on a salad, egg on a burger, egg on pasta? Yes please, I’ll take them all. I could eat eggs every single day of my life, they are so versatile.

I’ve been stressing about two things lately, let’s talk about each of these a little more in depth.

  1. Work
  2. Babies – and all the things that go with them
  3. My craft stuff
  4. My health

Work – I just feel like there is tons to do lately. I’ve been able to stay under 100 emails, which would have been unheard of 6 months ago even, so that’s good. I’ve been building a global team around me, which has eased the load. Tuesday and Wednesday we have big meetings and I feel ill prepared. I’ve been working on this one big project, called an Administrative Guide, that I’m building in OneNote. It’s pretty amazing, and I’m stoked on everything I’ve got into it, but I just feel like it’s going to be torn apart when I get it in front of the client. That’s disheartening. Also, I’m leaving in 3.5 months, which means that everything has to be a nice package tied up with a bow, and ready for me to move on. A sign of a good leader is one that plans succession well, so that when they leave, the company still thrives. I intend to do everything possible to make sure this happens. But, it’s all still stressful.

Babies – Building a registry, thinking of all the things I need, blah blah blah. It’s all things I don’t want to think about. We started registering on Amazon.com. It’s going ok, but i’m sure there are going to be other things that crop up, that I just don’t want to deal with. It seems like such a hassle. We might buy a stroller tonight! We’ve been eyeying the UPPAbaby Vista, and we found a total score on Craigslist, so we’re going to look at it tonight. Seems pretty slick. When we start buying stuff, that also means we needed places to put stuff (see section 3; re: Craft Stuff). I also have several friends having babies and in particular, wanted to make one something, so I have to get that together too. Not to mention that I want my baby to have something personally made by me as well.

Craft Stuff – have I mentioned that we’re putting our baby in what I’ve called my Craft Room to date? That means shit tons of cleaning and purging. I have a LOT of craft stuff, because I’m the creative crafty type. So – I have to organize, purge, sell, donate everything that I think is now low priority, having a child. I’ll probably see if my MIL wants some stuff, but the vast majority, I’d like to sell so that I recoup some of the money I spent on all this amazing stuff. That’s stressful. I’ve been trying to do it in small chunks, but find that I’m too tired to really get anything going while I’m home. I expend all my energy at work every day. Then I get home and just want to relaxing.

My Health – it’s not terrible, so don’t get me wrong. However, I gained a substantial amount of weight in the last month, which I found out at the Dr on Friday. I’m disappointed in myself. I don’t feel like I’ve been using pregnancy like an excuse, but I have been eating whatever I can. A lot of normally healthy, great, and delicious things just don’t sound like something I want to ingest, quite honestly. It’s been rough in that aspect. Not to mention that I get tired really easy, so working out really hasn’t happened. Walking, like everyone tells you to do, hasn’t even been happening. Adam keeps offering to walk with me, but like I mentioned before, I am always just too tired. When in the hell is this second burst of energy that everyone and their mom keeps speaking of going to happen? Probably never for me!

Baby is getting more active every day. Last night he was trying to keep me from sleeping, but I won that battle! My uterus is the size of a soccer ball right now, at 26 weeks along. That is mind boggling to me. I like staring at my naked stomach, it’s fascinating in my opinion. I’m not really doing anything, but I’m some how growing a whole human inside of me. We signed up for our birthing classes. 6 excruciating evenings for 2 hours each. Are you serious? Seems like overkill. Oh, and I was reading up on healing after the birth, which I shouldn’t have done, because my vagina is going to be a disaster zone. Anyway I can just plan to not have a vaginal delivery? That sounds swell. Could we also cut me open before stretch marks start? That’s another thing, I inspect my stomach every day while lubing it up to look for new stretch marks. So far, coast is clear. This uterus is going to stretch all the way to my sternum, my Dr says, and I’ll feel like I can’t breath. Stretch marks come around the no breathing time, usually. So, another awesome stage I get to look forward to. Great… I’ve always known I would be an amazing mother, but I have ALWAYS dreaded the act of actually being pregnant. I’m finding the actually being pregnant portion not so bad, but the whole squeeze something the size of my cat out of my vagina things, is terrifying. Why does everyone keep saying that this will all be worth it? Did you know my belly button will never be the same? Supposedly I’ll grow a half shoe size at some point too. These all sounds like negatives in my opinion.

On a positive side note – I have never felt more in love, and connected with Adam, knowing that we’ve made a baby that I’m growing inside me, and the excitement we both have to meet him.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s